


Space Princes Have The Worst Boundary Testing

by FelicityGS



Series: Space Princes of the Galaxy [2]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Exploring Sexuality, also pure crack, like the briefest thorki that ever thorki'd, minor Thor appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2164350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FelicityGS/pseuds/FelicityGS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or the one in which Peter assumes Loki is asexual and Loki isn't quite sure whether that's true and has to test it out on possible <em>the worst person</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space Princes Have The Worst Boundary Testing

**Author's Note:**

> More aimless need to do something produced _this_. There's probably one more of these kicking around in my head today but after that no promises.

They're on Vanaheim brokering some stupid deal with the Van and Peter is bored out of his _mind_. He really just wants to get out of here, it's just a farming planet--well, farming and _party_ , thus drugs, thus the Ravagers, and also brothels. Peter _could_ get behind (or in, hah) brothels, other than the fact as soon as they touched down Yondu had dragged Peter aside and been charged with making sure Loki absolutely did _not_ draw attention to himself, got it?

Something to do with Jotunheim's failed take over or Midgard or something--Peter isn't _entirely_ sure on the details, and doesn't care.

It _has_ put Loki in the mother of all sulks--which Peter knew it would. Loki _hates_ being in Asgardian space. This _always_ happens in Asgardian space.

"You could go if you want," Loki sniffs, clearly following the train of Peter's thoughts. Covered in a cloak--loose, so he doesn't overheat--with the hood pulled up he doesn't immediately scream _Jotun_ with his small size. His braid is hanging out from under his hood, which bonus; everyone knows frost giants don't have hair.

"What, so you ditch me?" When Loki's brow furrows, Peter adds, "You're asexual, man. I'm not going in there to get my dick wet and come out to find out you're  _gone_. Not to mention you'd be _bored_. Let's just go find a bar or something."

Loki's lips press together just a bit. Well shit.

"It's not a bad thing. You are, right? I mean you basically--I'm shutting up." Peter holds his hands up. "See, shutting up. I'll buy you drinks."

"Very well," Loki sniffs, haughty, and takes off down the street. Peter sighs and follows, mentally calculating how much he's about to be out.

***

"What about _him_?" Loki hums, pressing against Peter so close that his lips are brushing his ear. Peter shrugs off the chill and follows where Loki's pointing to the group of Asgardians. Specifically the hulking golden haired one with the annoying laugh that looks like a _total_ douchebag.

"What, _really?_ Look at him. He looks like a tool."

"Exactly."

He also looks familiar. Peter tries to place why he knows the face when he realizes abruptly that Loki is _not_ sitting next to him anymore, and in fact is bee-lining for the small party. Which _how stupid is he_ , seriously, Loki's still a _frost giant_.

He can't decide if he needs to cover his face to avoid the flaming wreck about to happen or follow him and put a stop to it.

"Your friend is crazy, going for Thor," a patron says next to him. "He'll probably break her in half."

Peter opens his mouth to correct the pronoun, pauses, then it all sinks in. _Thor_. Crown-prince of Asgard Thor, oh no-nonono, Yondu is going to _kill_ him. He nearly falls over his chair getting up and scrambling after Loki, but Loki's already insinuated himself on Thor's lap with a quiet laugh, hood fallen off, ignoring the side-eyes he's getting from _Thor's_ friends. Thor is all warm laughter and smiles and a hand around Loki's waist, which _really_ \--

"Ta," Loki singsongs cheerfully when Thor abruptly stands and pulls Loki up with him, waving with one hand over Thor's shoulder at Peter with that shit-eating grin that says he thinks he knows _exactly_ what he's doing.

Well, _fuck_.

***

"Bartender, I need all the drinks this will buy," Peter says once he's made his way back to the bar and his overturned seat, resigning himself to waiting out Loki's one-night stand.

The other bar patron is looking at him askance.

"Your friend's _Jotun_? All small with _hair_? You've got a sonuja for a friend?"

"A sonju what?"

"Sonuja." The man wiggles his fingers. "Magic. They're small, not many of them left. The crown prince of Jotunheim is one, or was. Suppose no one knows what happened to him after the war, what with being kidnapped and never being ransomed back. He'd be about as old as your friend, actually."

"He's _not_ a crown prince. He was born off-world," Peter says, wishing his ale would hurry up because he _cannot_ deal with this.

***

It's his fourth drink in that it finally occurs to him that they kidnapped Loki off Jotunheim. He doesn't remember much of it, just fighting and lots of corpses. Loki was pretty frightened at the time, too, even if he was trying not to show it.

No.

Nope. No. There is _zero_ way that Loki is the crown prince of Jotunheim, absolutely none, the universe would _die_ if _Loki_ got hold of a kingdom--even a temporarily ruined one like Jotunheim. Loki can't even stand anyone seeing him in the morning before he's had a chance to wash his face and he _hates_ mornings and what about the way he totally gets pissed when anyone says anything about his appearance, and--

"I'm too young for this," Peter mourns to his drink.

***

Of course, now that he's _thought_ the thought, he can't let it go. Loki makes no signs of reappearing any time soon, so Peter decides that he can risk drunkenly asking around to make _really_ sure that Loki is not in fact a crown prince of even an ant hill.

Just in case he needs to plan an exit strategy.

***

"Why the hell would I kidnap a Crown Prince?" Yondu asks, looking annoyed. "And where the hell is Loki?"

"Waiting outside," Peter lies. Yondu totally knows he's lying, but at least he feels marginally better about how badly the universe is going to get fucked over. Because it will, it's just not because Loki has a chance to inherit a throne.

"Right. We're leaving in an hour."

***

Loki is still not a morning person, and apparently sex with the _Asgardian crown prince_ hasn't changed that. He's snoozing in the bed where Thor left him, wrapped around all the pillows and blankets, and Thor is no where in sight. Small mercies.

"Let's go," Peter says, grabbing Loki by the ankle and hauling him out of bed. Loki wakes up with a yowl like a cat, kicking at Peter. Peter, well-versed in waking Loki, lets go and watches him flump onto the floor. "Yondu's going to leave us."

"Everything _hurts_ ," Loki whines pathetically, covering his head.

"Maybe you should have thought about that _before_." Peter pauses, then, "Uh. How was it?"

"Wet. Messy." Loki pushes himself up, shoving hair out of his face. "I suspect you may be right about the status of my sexuality."

Peter's jaw drops.

"You slept with the _Crown Prince of Asgard_ because _you didn't know if you were asexual?_ "

Loki shrugs.

"He has a reputation. I suppose it was good enough, for what it was."

Peter covers his face with one hand."Let's just... let's just go."

**Author's Note:**

> (yondu's lying. loki's totally the crown prince, just like peter)


End file.
